Home sweet home =)

I'm back to Miri! I'm just so happy to be back home, to be with my family and friends. I miss my bedroom, my bed, my study table and my wardrobe. I miss everything here. Not to forget, my grandma's cooking, the hill I used to jog, the shopping malls that I normally frequent, Tanjung beach where I used to play, the bread and tarts I usually buy at Hot Cross bun and Ma Baker (my favourite bakery shops), the school I used to teach and the students (gosh~ I miss them so much now), my former schoolmates (yes, I managed to meet up with some of them! Had a total fun catching up with their lives, yeah! =D ) and to sum up, the entire city. Just, EVERYTHING!

Time flies as fast as when I was in KL. People say that I enjoy living my life. Yes, I really do. Perhaps that is the reason why I rarely grumble about small little things which seem like a stumbling block in my life because I know nothing can stop me from doing what I love to do. Unless I'm being pessimistic or hypocrite, I don't even dare to imagine what sort of life will turn out to be for me. I salute people who can remain salient, and possess sangfroid attitude when life throws them a curveball. I just keep reminding myself, 'Stay happy the way you are and be yourself!' That's the way of life. =)

~michelle~

All the things you never know

I think he's a really nice person

he's the sort of person who put others first before him

He loves his family very much

and I believe almost everybody does

I bet he'll love his family too when he has one in the future

he cares about people whom he loves a lot

he said 'Don't walk alone and remember, bring along pepper spray!'

'Okay!' I said but not the last item

'cause I never have one (* laughing xD)

And I never walk alone in the dark

'cause I walk everyday in the light

He will keep you updated

with his day-to-day happenings in his life

like what he is doing at this present moment or later on

Sometimes, he will tell you jokes

jokes that will make you laugh even when you are in the middle of something

Sometimes, he will share with you how he feels about you

within the sincerity of his heart

When he's not happy, you could sense that he is

'Cheer up!' are the most essential words to say

to make him feel that he's not the only one at bay

When he has a problem, he'll not keep it on his own

instead, he'll seek your advice on the way things should be keep in line

He can be quite emotional at times but he won't let you know

unless you manage to find out why

He will cry if he knows that things are hard deep inside

I told him, 'Men don't cry'

and he said 'That's only a lie'

And when he can't control his emotions, he'll hurt himself

which I don't see eye to eye

but I do understand why

putting myself in his shoe

I wish someone can be by my side too

to overcome life's conundrums together

and face life's challenges with confidence

This is the story of a friend

whom I have known for ages

who now resides in my heart

now and always.

Now that you know

about all the things you never know.

~michelle~

She knows, they know, everyone knows

Last night, my house mate Denise and I had a sharing on what we had been through throughout the day yesterday. I can't tell how many times I had teary eyes because Denise's stories made me laugh gleefully! I like the way she imitated her friend, a Chinese guy who's an English educated person in every single actions and words spoken by him. Both of them, they are really funny! I seriously think that they can come up with a comedy or something. haha! =D

On the serious part, she shared with me about the personal life experiences that she had witnessed in others as a testimony to Christians so that we won't follow in their footsteps. Before things get out of hand, it is always better to seek God for His guidance in our decision making process because the Bible has stated clearly that whatever He wants us to do, it is to please Him in a godly manner. He knows what is best for us. In fact, He knows what is best for me. I feel so anxious so as to see who will be that someone to appear in my life. All that I have to do is to pray earnestly and to see that God's promises for me are yet to come true. I'm patiently waiting for that to happen now. =) Our chat continued until 2am something. We agreed to wake up at 8am which both of us successfully did. And we had breakfast together although Denise joined me a bit later. Having another final paper to go which falls on next Monday, I just want to be focused in my studies and I pray that I will be able to get at least a satisfying grade. Thanks, Denise for the meaningful sharing. I'm more assured in my actions, and I know I'm still conscious. It's never too late for me and I know I have the choice to decide on my next course of action. Do keep me in prayers as I keep you in mine. Thanks!

~michelle~

My guardian angel

These few days, I wasn't doing well in my life. I came across lots of circumstances that required me to make my own decisions alone. I don't know who to turn to share my problems with. I reached a level where I desperately need someone to be by my side, to listen to me and at the same time, being there for me whenever possible. Where were you when I needed you most, dear Lord? I questioned. For countless time, I kept asking God in my prayers, wishing that He will grant my wishes. But God said to me, "Hang in there, Michelle." Alright Lord, I whispered in my heart. And Lord made me thought of her, a dear sister of mine attending the same church as me. I decided to call her. Just discharged from the hospital, she was as energetic as any athletic who does good sport, and we spoke through the phone, with my eyes welled up with tears. She prayed for me towards the end of our conversation. That was when I see hope, a hope that lasts.

After we hung up, I sat at one corner of my bed, and reflected back on what she had told me. Then as I tilted my head, I saw the bible. Without much hesitation, I grabbed the bible and came across the book of Colossians. My eyes were set on Col 3:18-19; "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." I was like, wow! Why did God show me this passage? What was He trying to tell me? I was stunned for a moment before I realized something. All that He ever wanted from me is my faithfulness to Him just as how He has always been faithful to me! God, pardon me! :')

I received this inspiring message from sis. Marianne whom I spoke to on the phone. Her message touched me so deeply that I couldn't hold my tears. It was like raindrops showering over the earth. I was truly glad that I shared with her what I had been through and I thanked God for her, for being there for me during the lowest peak of my life. This is what she wrote to me:

Dear Michelle,

Thank you so much for being brave enough to share the dilemma that you are facing with me. I know that making hard decisions like this can be really painful, especially for you.
And dear Michelle, it's really godly of you to want to do the right thing that pleases our Lord.
Life as a Christian isn't easy. Choosing what pleases God above all our desires, all that we love and treasure and hold dear is indeed difficult. It's really a struggle sometimes.
But let me assure you, dear,dear sis, that God's will is always the best for us, even when it hurts. And when we don't understand why circumstances are the way that they are, there is one truth in the Bible that we can hold on to that God causes ALL things to work together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose- that he may conform us, changing us to become more and more like His Son, Jesus (Romans 8:28-29)! So, even through the good times and the hard times, through joys and sorrows, through difficult and easy decisions, we can trust that God is using ALL circumstances to mold us and change us, so that we may grow in Christ-likeness. And nothing can separate us from His great love!

I do hope to meet with you on Sat, dear sis. I will confirm this with you via sms by tomorrow. As for now, I will keep you in prayer. I know you are anxious, but I will pray that God will enable you to cast your anxieties upon him, for He does indeed care very much for you, dear sis (1 Peter 5:7).

There's this lovely song that I've often listen to whenever I am going through difficulties, and I hope that the words of this song will comfort you as well...

http://www.facebook.com/l/d0bc9PENROqWbeJSc4_7rAoJGLA;www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT8aTjVZHVI

Much love in Christ,
Marianne

October 15, 2010 at 1:07pm

Sis Marianne, thank you. :') Your words are so inspiring and powerful. I felt so much at ease now as God opened up my mind to think things through. He sent you to be my listening ears and now, I feel so happy to have you not only as someone dear to me, but someone who can be my guardian angel. You are my guardian angel! I heart you, till the very end...

Di's 19th Birthday =)

The clock ticked 12am and it was Friday, 10th September 2010 that this big day began.
I secretly organised this birthday surprise just for him. I invited his ex-schoolmate, Vincent, who studies in the same university as I do and few others whom he got to know here in church and another friend of mine who has the same name as him, Louis. haha...

And here we went. A Swiss chocolate cake I bought from King's Bakery (it's so cheap coz I got 40% off for that =D) just for him. It's yummy! My brother agreed even though he haven't tried it. Ridiculous huh? Well, he's right. After all, never judge a book by its cover. =)

The imminent candle blowing moment which followed by the cake-cutting ceremony was humbly accomplished with my brother making his wish/wishes (I wonder what was his wish =P ). In his usual nonchalant manner, he cut the cake and Vincent helped him to distribute the cakes. All of us had a good chat and a good laugh! My friend, Louis has a really good sense of humour. He made all of us laughed till our heads off! Two friends leave the house as they had something on so left the four of us: 2 Louis, Denise and me; laughing like a lunatic!

While they chatted, I took this opportunity to snap their pictures. Though most of the pictures are blur due to my shaky hands (or in other words, I'm unskilled ==|| ), I was satisfied enough because I can capture the elated moments of this small yet simple birthday party of his.=)

It was 1.30am when things officially ended. Sadly, moments will always be moments. It was something that happened in the past although moments ago, we were happily celebrating his birthday and now, the moments had come to a halt, not entirely but temporary because, hey...it's just midnight remember? We still had another whole day of Friday to celebrate it! So yeah, Happy Birthday to my dear Di Di! I hope that his birthday on that very day was memorable for him to be imbued in his mind, now and ever.

love from sis,
~michelle~

As sweet as home

2nd August 2010

So, what's about the date? Well, I just moved to another unit which is 4 times higher than my previous unit on the 3rd floor. Moving into my friend's place who is also from Miri. I was really happy that time and I felt very excited. Partly because I got to stay with someone whom I know and share the same belief as me though we only know each other here in the university. But most importantly, I can finally inhale fresh air which I was deprived of for that 7 months in my old, sultry room. Leaving the room closed for just half a day gave me that sort of queasy feeling of unease. Most often than not, I chose to be outside in the living room or paved my way to the library to finish up my work. I just didn't feel like staying at home.
*This is the story of the room in the midday.

I recalled the first day when I moved into the room in January this year. I 'donated' my blood on that 'bloody' night. And this went on for 2 days. Throughout those nights, all I did was scratching here and there as both my hands and legs were bitten by mosquitoes! These uninvited guests entered my room through the open windows and all that I wanted was the flow of fresh air and not the scourge of inane mosquitoes! Since then, I didn't open the windows at all. The whirring sound of the ceiling fan annoyed me but I had no idea how to fix it. At least, the fan functioned well enough to 'cool' my humid room.
*This is the story of the room in the night.

Now that I am in a new home, I feel so much comfortable here. This place is like a family home to me. Because my friend's dad is staying with us, my friend and I cook more frequently. I learn a lot from her and we help each other in many ways not just in the kitchen but in building our relationship as friends and church mates. One time I got sick and she told her dad about it. In the morning after I woke up, I saw a box of Chinese medicines on the table outside. Then, my eyes were glued on the piece of note attached to it: 'Michelle, are you feeling better? See if this can help.' Underneath these words, there's an arrow pointing downwards to the box of medicine. I knew it was written by her dad. I felt so touched because they cared for me even though I'm just someone who aren't their family members. The funny thing about her dad was when he told me the one and only house rule. 'NO BOY FRIEND'. I told him I don't have one. But he said, "Soon..." =S
And my friend asked, "Brother le?"
"Brother can..." =D
I felt so happy when I heard that.=)
My wish for them is that they will live happily and staying healthy always even though they are far apart from the rest of the family members who are residing in Miri, my friend's mom and brother.
I'm just so glad to stay with them and this place is just as sweet as home.
God bless everyone in the house! ^^

~michelle~

Free day!!!

It was just another good day
with bright, scorching hot sun that filled the air
as Qi and Michie walked down the road slope
passing by the guards who stood gallantly
right beside the guardhouse through the alley
I felt my heart was flying high, really
'cause I can finally play
to the fullest today
on our way to the university
safely guided by Him, Qi and Michie reached
all thanks be to God =)
Qi entered the exam hall with fame
while I wandered around the place with shame
time passed by without I realized
Qi came out from the hall on cloud nine
"Yay!" I shouted deep inside
and off we went for lunch
a treat to all the good work done.

It was just another good day
with bright, scorching hot sun that filled the air.

Good nights!
-michelle-

A meaningful memoir

I don't know how he knew about the website. I don't know how I got it there. One day when I open my mailbox, I saw AYA Awards 2010 as the title and quickly opened the mail without hesitation. Initially, I thought it was another spam; or something that doesn't interest me at all. However, curious, I opened and read the content. It said I was nominated by the public. I was speechless. Who on earth could the stranger be or whoever the public is? With the link highlighted in blue, I clicked on it to find out. As I scrolled the bar towards the bottom, I saw my name. Whoa! I couldn't believe it! This was the first time I see my name being published on a website! It's like, you see something written by you and it got published. Isn't that cool? The only difference is, I didn't write that but it got published! The question is, again, WHOOOoo?


Michelle Liong Fong Fong
“…sacrificed her time, energy and money just to get the best for me….”

I then clicked on the "Read more" button because I want to read more. I was kinda excited actually.

+ Read More
My sister has brought a deep impact into my life. Without her I might not be where I am today. She sacrificed her time, energy and money just to get the best for me. For example, during my high school, she took the pain to walk the distance just to buy a drink for me as I felt really thirsty after a long walk. Although she was tired, she dismissed my suggestion that I went to buy the drink instead. As parents are divorced, she was like my parents. every morning she will wake up early to prepare breakfast for us. She will also remind me to drink more water. I felt touched because she cared so much for me, and in the process neglected herself. In times of need, she will motivate me. I found comfort in having such a good sister. I am really lost for words. She was the only one who I can depend on. I would say my position as a headboy was due to her motivation and guidance. We felt very lonely at home as our father does not care much about our everyday life. however, we learn how to be independent and I can bear testimony that i have learnt so much from her. She is not a bright student, however, that is not the barrier for her to succeed. Sometimes I could see the sadness she is experiencing. I even brought her to tears for scolding her at one point. I realised my mistake and I know she loves me so much. She always stresses that I am her only brother, because we have a stepbrother, and she would do everything to make sure I will succeed. She is also a person who is very willing to help her friends. One of them told me that she is a very kind-hearted person. For instance, she had even thought of donating her organ as a contribution to the society. She is a truly remarkable sister which i could not describe in words. She has done so many things which I could not name all here. For this, she deserves to win this Award as a tribute to her exemplary effort in being a sister and friend. - Louis Liong Wei Wei

My heart was saddened as I reflect back on our childhood memories. I almost cried but I didn't. I viewed this e-mail when I was in a public place. I was completely touched by the way he wrote about me. He knew me well enough to have come up with this. It was a very meaningful memoir about me and my life. It is something that I will always remember about a brother of mine who cherishes his sister.

-michelle-

Testing my faith...

God is testing my faith not just for Him but also for my friend; who has been ill for days. Never did I know about the news until I viewed his social networking site. Only then I realized my instinct to contact him a few days ago was right. I regretted deeply for not doing so. Why, I asked; why when something bad happened only then I am conscious? I guess I am just being selfish.

I wonder how many times I have shed my tears for you, my friend. It was hard for me to see you enduring in pain and suffering throughout the treatments. Yes, those were intended to make you well once again. Undaunted by the whole process, you still smiled to those who visited you when you were lying on the hospital bed. I was struck by how tough and strong you were in difficult times. The unceasing support and motivation from the people known to you, I must say; have made you grow even stronger to persist on. My prayer is with you, my friend. God sees what you have been through and He heals you. May you recover soon!

God loves you always...
~michelle~

When he was here...

I cooked dinner, lunch and prepared breakfast during his three nights stay here since Friday evening. Those preparations were time consuming but it was nothing compared to the joy of being able to spend time together as siblings. Upon reaching my place, he talked a lot about his life in his college, how he deals with his studies and even friendships. I got a very interesting point from him, which is true friendship. Friends come and go and only true ones will stay by your side. I start to ponder, if it really lasts, then what about relationship? Can relationship lasts like how true friendship does? I think it depends very much on how you play your role as someone who values friendship. It's either you gain from it or you lose it.

So, yeah, that was basically about it. We also gossiped like what we sometimes do on the phone. Guys do gossip too. Haha! Not that we like to talk about all this crap but in some ways, it makes me realize how time has actually took me away from spending goody good time with my brother. Though we are not so far apart (it takes him not more than 2 hours to reach my place), I am constantly reminded that things should not be taken for granted. I just want to give my best out of the very best and make good use of every opportunity that knocks on my door. Life is a bliss when someone says "You are loved." Life is even more blissful when someone says "I love you!"

Looking back, moving forward

It happened yesterday. Yes, yesterday. Those days were once filled with laughter, but sadness made up most of the pie. Partly because I could not bear the pain seeing someone leave for a purpose. A purpose-driven life, as one of the Christian books name it. Leaving someone doesn't mean you are going to be stranded and being left alone in a desert or whatnot. It doesn't sound that bad actually. Cause this is the time for you to strive even harder to achieve something within your grip and rely on your own in doing multiple tasks. Initially, I lacked the encouragement and motivation. It was these thought of mine that conquered me till I delved into an abyss of depression. Sleepless nights bugged me through the dark, gloomy skies and sometimes, I wet my pillow without being aware of it. Somehow, I found it hard to let go. But, I must give it a go. I did.

More than a year has passed. Things had changed tremendously. There is hope for everything. I felt glad with the decision made. It was meant for the benefit of all. Financially, self-sufficiency, and other reasons known to the one who knew it. God has been so gracious to him. God was there all the time.

Settled down in a place where he longed to be, he finally found his own destiny to fulfill his dreams. He worked extra hard not just to get what he wants, but to get what he deserves to get. He made it.